Three down, three to go. Brunei

Brunei.

Somewhere deep in the recesses of 40+ year-old memories something stirs as we fly into Brunei over brown rivers and jungle.

We are here to transfer planes - hopefully not to the one I saw which had its engine in bits..

Oh, God! Squat toilets. Now the memories are complete.

Brisbane was everything I expected it to be: hot, dry and unattractive.

After the flutter with my passport I decided to sit in the correct seat, notwithstanding the fact that I would forgo the entertainment.

My new neighbour was a gaunt Asian man with a gaunt Asian moustache. In the air I noticed him fiddling with the entertainment control. I pushed the button to release it from its recess in the armrest and it popped out.

"I was trying to put it away," he said. They were the only words he spoke to me.

Sleep overcame me and I woke only to food. As we flew over Sulawesi and Borneo the clouds rolled up like frozen surf, a serried sentinel of turbulence guarding the jungle below. Forty-five year-old memories stirred back in my childhood. Heat, humidity and the sight of a city carved out of the jungle took me somewhere close to my earliest memories, but the opulence, comfort and soft lighting of the transit area sent those thoughts scuttling away.

Different memories poked their heads out as I discovered the joys of civilisation did not extend to either Western-style toilets or effectively flushing squat ones. I turned tail.

"Found the toilets?" I asked my aisle neighbour. She grimaced before heading to the internet cafe where I had already reset the security settings to my own specifications.

I wandered around looking at cheap gold, wondering whether the Moldovan one would appreciate a scare, and dusk fell to the sound of a broadcast muezzin calling the faithful to prayer.

My own were answered when I found, tucked away in the bowels of the complex, a proper toilet and a private shower.

As I emerged the flight was called. Someone was still smiling, though with a twist - my record of being pulled out of line for a contact search remains at 100%.